The five faults nearly every owner-written site shares
- It talks about the business instead of to the customer. “We are a family-run company with over 20 years’ experience” answers a question nobody asked yet. “Driveways and patios across Bury, from £X a square metre” answers three.
- It uses the trade’s words, not the customer’s. Nobody searches “hard landscaping solutions”. They search “driveway cost”. The keyword research guide is about finding their words.
- It hides the price. The visitor’s first question, unanswered, sends them to a site that answers it.
- It has no proof. Claims of quality without a photo of a real job, a real figure or a named review are indistinguishable from every competitor’s.
- It has no next step, or six. Each page needs one thing you want the reader to do, made obvious.
Write in the order the visitor asks
A stranger landing on any page asks the same six things, silently, in roughly this order. A page that answers them in that order converts; a page that answers them in your order does not.
| The visitor asks | Where to answer it | Example |
|---|---|---|
| What is this? | The headline | “Block paving driveways in Bolton” |
| Is it for me? | The first paragraph | “For homeowners across Bolton and Bury who want a driveway that lasts” |
| Where and when? | First screen, and the contact page | Area covered; typical lead time |
| How much? | Early, visibly | “From £X a square metre; a typical two-car driveway is £Y–£Z” |
| Why you? | Proof beside the action | A photo of a real job, a measured figure, a named review |
| What do I do next? | One obvious action | “Get a quote” and the phone number |
Source: Cybrial, from writing and rewriting client sites. The prices in the example are placeholders; publish your real ones.
The homepage
One screen: what you do, where, for whom, and a route to each service. Then proof (real work, real numbers), then a short section on who you are with a name and a photo, then the action. It is a signpost, not an essay. Show it to someone who does not know your business for five seconds and ask what you do and where; if they hesitate, rewrite the first screen.
On this site the homepage headline is “Websites that earn their keep”, the first paragraph says what and for whom, the three proof lines carry measured figures with sources, and the first action is to see the work. It was rewritten three times to get there, and the fact that it needed three tries is normal.
Service pages
One page per service, titled in the customer’s words with the place, under 60 characters. Then, in order: what it is and who it is for; what is included and what is not; the price or starting price and what changes it; how long it takes; what usually goes wrong and how you avoid it; proof from a real job; the questions people ask, answered in a sentence each; one action.
Eight hundred to fifteen hundred words is typical when written properly, and every word is doing a job. The service pages on this site follow exactly that structure, with the pricing card first because that is the question.
The about page
It is the second most visited page on most small business sites and the most often wasted. It is not the company history. It is one question: can I trust these people? Answer it with a named person, a real photograph, what they have actually done (with numbers where you have them), how they work, and the honest trade-offs of working with a business your size. The about page on this site says what happens if the founder is ill, because that is the question a sensible buyer has and would rather see answered than avoided.
The contact page
- The phone number, tappable, and the hours you answer it.
- A short form: name, phone or email, message. Ask the rest in the reply.
- Who will reply and when. “You will hear from Simon within one working day” beats a form that disappears into silence.
- What happens next: a call, a site visit, a quote in writing. People enquire more readily when they know the process.
- The area you cover, and the address if you have premises.
The test that catches most of it
Show each page to someone who does not know the business, for five seconds, on a phone. Ask: what is this, who is it for, how much, and what would you do next? Every question they cannot answer is a paragraph to rewrite. It costs nothing and it finds more than any writing guide.
